Chaste Kisses & Quiet Banging

Wine in a paper cup. A break-in “just to pee.” And somehow … a dead body in a closet. Welcome to this episode’s chaos.

Meghan kicks things off with Savannah Blues by Mary Kay Andrews — a Southern, antique-filled, mystery-heavy read that may or may not qualify as a romance (jury’s still out). We dive into estate sale strategy, messy divorces, rich people behaving badly, and how one very questionable bathroom decision turns our girl into a prime murder suspect. Bonus points for how deeply we relate to the thrifting, reselling and “cooler packed for the day” lifestyle.

Then Nicole brings us A Lady’s Guide to Mischief and Mayhem by Manda Collins, a historical romance set in 1865 London featuring a newspaper-writing widow and a Scotland Yard detective chasing a serial killer. We get into enemies-to-lovers tension, predictable plot twists as well as the eternal desire for more gowns, more atmosphere and more drama in our historical reads.

Along the way, we keep the important traditions alive:
✨ The Spicy Scoville Scale (because spice must be measured)
✨ The ongoing debate of “does this even count as romance?”
✨ Boob math — including a serious discussion on whether décolletage qualifies
✨ And those oddly specific sensory moments that stick with you (looking at you, lavender and soap quilts)

We also pull our final Pick-a-Number reads for the month — including a traveling book surprise — and Nicole shares highlights from the LoveLit Cruise, from incredible author connections to the very real struggle of trying to spend a $650 bar tab in five days (a challenge she did not take lightly).

If you love romance-adjacent chaos, murder mystery detours, historical intrigue and unfiltered bookish banter; hit follow, share with your favorite bookish biddy and leave us a review.

Because sometimes it’s chaste kisses … and sometimes it’s quiet banging. 🍷

🍸 Books & Beverages

Meghan’s Book & Beverage:
Savannah Blues by Mary Kay Andrews with Wine (in a paper cup, obviously)

Nicole’s Book & Beverage:
A Lady’s Guide to Mischief and Mayhem by Manda Collins with The Improper Lady (recipe on our website!)

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Transcript

Nicole: 

Hello, I'm Nicole Danielle.

Meghan: 

And I'm Meghan Leigh. And this is Romance on the Rocks, where two bookish biddies imbibe and mostly read romance novels. And I say mostly because my book is a bit questionable this week and that will be part of our upcoming discussion. Yeah.

Nicole: 

You…Okay.

Okay, okay.

What are you drinking this evening, Meghan?

Meghan: 

I had plenty of options if I was going to go on theme with my book. These folks drank constantly. I had, you know, champagne, wine, many different kinds of wine, gin and tonics, vodka tonics, straight up bourbon. Like I could have grabbed anything, but I decided to - yeah, I mean, good, good Southern stock - I decided to go with the one that made the biggest impression upon me, which is wine in a paper cup.

Nicole: 

This sounds like my kind of people.

Meghan: 

Yeah, and...

Nicole: 

I feel like we've done this when we've stayed at hotels on trips, but...

Meghan: 

Exactly. And we will talk about this again with my book coming up. Just so you know, because we did decide to meet a little bit later because I was running behind, I had an appointment. It gave me enough time to stop and get a paper cup from the local gas station.

Nicole: 

Okay.  You on purpose got a paper cup?

Meghan: 

Yeah, and I wanted you to know because I know how much you appreciate props. 

I got this on my way back from Green Bay, specifically so I could cheers in the paper cup. So there you go. 

Nicole: 

Mmm.

Okay. Okay. But what kind of wine is it?

Meghan:

And what are you drinking? That is an excellent question. It's a beautiful red. I got this when I was in Spain with my sister, Elena. The label is absolutely stunning, you guys. It's this floral…

Nicole:

Mmm. Nice.

Meghan: 

…purple, gold, gray with a bird and I would say it's an ocelot, but that's probably not true. I don't know. It's gorgeous. Yeah. And there is a line in the book where one of the characters says “life is too short to drink cheap wine.”  And so I went with a nice bottle of wine. How about you?

Nicole: 

It is pretty. Yeah.

Good call, good call.

I'm drinking something called the “Improper Lady.”

Meghan: 

Do tell.

Nicole: 

So in this beverage, there is gin, triple sec, lemon juice, honey syrup, and orange marmalade.

Meghan: 

Ooh, this sounds really good.

Nicole: 

So the marmalade is a bit of a twist.

Meghan: 

Yeah, that sounds delicious.

Nicole: 

Well, we're about to find out.

Meghan: 

Mm-hmm.

That's so pretty.

Nicole: 

Yep, I've got it in my little coupe glass. Coop coo coo.

Meghan: 

She's pouring it into an, yeah, she's got her coupe and she's got a nice dried orange slice on the side. That's really pretty.

Nicole: 

Mm-hmm. This is my last dried fruit slice in my collection.

Meghan: 

Something to work on for the future.

Nicole: 

Well that is quite gin-forward, but I do appreciate the delectable hints of Mama Laud.

Meghan: 

Pretty. I feel like I say that every week for your drinks. I'm always like, “ooh, pretty.” I'm over here slugging wine in a paper cup.

Nicole: 

Mm-hmm.   Full on theme apparently so...

Meghan: 

I did. And speaking of which, I get to go first this time around for our pick a number.  Second to last pick a number in fact, I read “Savannah Blues” by Mary Kay Andrews. It was published in 2002, so a little bit older.

The premise: Eloise Weezie Foley is our leading lady. She is a flipper hunter, junker, thrifter reseller. She loves antiques. Yeah, right? She loves antiques, estate sales, thrift stores, back alleys full of other people's cast offs, right.

So in this way, she is basically a southern version of me.

Nicole: 

We love that.

Yeah, bring it on. Yeah.

Okay.

Meghan: 

The book takes place in Savannah, hence the title, and it's real heavy on the Savannah. It felt like I was swimming in the South. Weezie is recently divorced from her husband of 17 years, Tal. It's been a messy divorce. Tal was cheating on Weezie, and as soon as the ink was dry on their divorce papers, he moved the mistress into the big house.

And this is especially painful because not only did Weezie lose the house in the divorce, she now has to watch this other woman, Caroline, flit around all the rooms that Weezie spent so much time lovingly refurbishing. In fact, Weezie gets a front row seat to the Caroline and Tal show because she has now been relegated to the carriage house. So they're on the same property. It's pretty much, yeah, it's pretty much...

Nicole: 

Gross.

Meghan: 

…like the only thing she won in the divorce. And even though it would be better for her to move for her mental health, right?

Nicole: 

Yah. Yah.

Meghan: 

She doesn't want to sell the carriage house. She pretty much is staying to like stick it to Caroline.  And, well, Weezie knows that Caroline absolutely hates the fact that she's still on the property. And I wouldn't call it like a bitter move. More like stubborn, if that makes sense. Like she's just not willing to let go and she's trying to prove a point of some sort. Not quite sure what that point is. Maybe it's just “you can't push me around.”

But she definitely gets pleasure out of pissing off Caroline. Anyway, I digress. The big plot point starts to form when Weezie hears about an upcoming estate sale. It's going to be the sale of a century. Basically, it's the estate of Anna Ruby Millenax, who was the last remaining original heir to a southern antebellum plantation named Bouleau. I hope I'm pronouncing that correct. This is a very French looking word and I'm going with “Baloo”.  Weezie is practically salivating to get into this house and her best friend, Bebe, drives with her to the sail to set up camp overnight.

Nicole: 

Okay. 

Meghan: 

So here's a little, a quotation.

“At 6 p.m. Friday, I loaded my equipment into the truck. The cooler with sandwiches, diet coke, a thermos of coffee, that all went in first. Next came my sleeping bag, pillow, bug spray, flashlight, my two biggest canvas LL Bean tote bags, and my Kovels price guide.”

I could relate to that so much because that is the kind of shit that I throw together when I know I'm going on like a big day. In fact, last Friday, I had four estate sales to hit up in Appleton and I packed, yeah, I packed up my cooler and I had my pillow and all my shit in the car because it was like, I might have to sleep overnight in the car.

Nicole: 

Damn!

Wait, even the snowstorms on you still were estate sailing?

Meghan: 

Last week, last week, last week, girl, not this weekend. No, ma'am. No, last week. But there were four estate sales and I was not going to, you know, miss out when they were all that concentrated. And that's a good drive from my place, right? 

So as she's listing off the things that she's doing, I'm like, yeah, I, I totally relate to this girl. This is the kind of shit that I do. Weezie and Bebe. And that feels so weird to say out loud, “Bey-bey”.

Nicole: 

Okay, I was like, girl, hell are you doing?

Is it Beebee or Beybey?

Meghan: 

No, it's “Beybey”. I was pronouncing it as “BeeBee” because that's what it looks like. But in the beginning of the book, Weezie clarifies that Bebe's mom had Bebe - that was her ninth child. And she just got tired and lazy and went for the French of baby. Bebe.

Nicole: 

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. God.

Which is bebe, yeah.

Meghan: 

Right, Bebe. So it,

I wanted to read it as BeeBee It's not, it's “Beybey”. So the night before the sale, they pull up in the truck, Weezie and Bebe sit up drinking wine from paper cups and discuss their shopping strategy for the next morning. After several of these beautiful little cups of wine, they try and get some rest. But a few hours later, Weezie wakes up and really has to pee.  You know, paper cup of wine and all. 

Now here's the thing. This is where Weezie and I part ways. Up until now I was totally with her, but if I were the heroine in this story, this book would be over super quickly because I would have grabbed a roll of toilet paper that I keep in my car and I would have wandered off into the trees and I would have just taken a squat to piss in nature because I'm a Midwest heathen.

Nicole: 

Also, you and I have learned the hard way it is always important to have a roll of toilet paper in your vehicle at all times.

Meghan:

Correct.

That's why I'm like, this girl was super prepared, right? Where's her toilet paper? Okay, so I'm saying it's because I'm this Midwest heathen because Weezie is up to her elbows in Southern gentility, or maybe up to her bladder in Southern gentility. Regardless, Weezie needs to pee. So she decides her best course of action is to break into the plantation house to use the bathroom.

Nicole: 

Yeah.

Meghan: 

Just what? Come on now.

Not only does she…

Nicole: 

Clearly we're not used to squat peeing. I mean, this is a thing that, maybe it's a Midwest thing. Like us Midwest girls are like, yeah, you gotta pee behind a tree sometimes.

Meghan: 

I just feel like she was good enough to be able to camp and pack all the other stuff. She couldn't just climb behind a bush and pee? I don't know.

Nicole: 

Okay, you know what? I've peed in fucking parking lots up on the East Coast before, so I'm say that Weezie does not have her shit together. Yeah.

Meghan: 

Like I said, Southern gentility or something. Like she's just, she just couldn't, it didn't even occur to her that that was an option. So she breaks into this old plantation house. Not only does she pry a window open, climb in and start looking around for the loo, but she starts gathering random items along the way. Like, like she's shopping the estate sale at 3 a.m. Okay. Just stuffing. Yes!

Nicole: 

Good gravy.

God, and she's got a pee? Nah,

nah, nah.

Meghan: 

She's like, doing it on her way to the bathroom.  Then she pees, then she's stuffing more shit in the bag. Like a sneaky, thiefy early bird, right? I was so uncomfortable during that part of the book. Just get the fuck out of the house. Stop touching things. Go pee in the bushes like a civilized person.

Nicole: 

Yeah.  Non-breaking-and-entering type person.

Meghan: 

Committing a felony in order to pee.  Like, breach a little decorum. Don't be breaking laws. 

Nicole: 

I'm with ya. I'm with ya. Yeah.

Meghan:

This whole scene culminates in Weezie needing to now find a place to stash her pre-picked estate finds. She decides to hide her treasures in one of the upstairs closets, thinking that'll be remote enough. Nobody else would get to it before she could retrieve it once the sale actually opens up in the morning. Unfortunately for Weezie, when she opens the closet door, a bloody dead body falls out.

Nicole: 

Shut the hell up. Okay.

Meghan: 

So because Weezie's bladder was where her brain was supposed to be, she swiftly gets arrested for theft and murder. The rest of the book takes us through not only trying to find the real killer, but also through the mysteries of some shady business deals, cheating scandals, rehab, possible stalking, and lots and lots of rich people spending money on rich people things.

Nicole: 

Okay.

Meghan: 

This book was really well written, but it's very long and descriptive. As a fellow reseller, I personally enjoyed the long-winded talks about what is or is not valuable for flipping, the fixing and refurbishing of, right? Yeah, like the fixing, repurposing of old items, meandering through antique stores, et cetera. I don't know how captivating that would be for other folks.

Nicole: 

Hell yeah. I would have been all about that too. Yeah.  I don't know, like the whole thing on the internet right now is watching people get shit from Goodwill. So I think there's an audience. Yeah.

Meghan: 

Yeah, maybe. I mean,

I enjoyed that part. But now, Nicole, may I ask you something?

Nicole: 

Yes, please.

Meghan: 

Okay, you've now listened to me talk about this book, regale you with a tale. What's missing?

Nicole: 

Yeah.

The Romance?

Meghan: 

The romance.

Nicole: 

Yeah, and a love interest? I didn't hear hide nor hair of any love interest.

Meghan: 

I found the romance part of this book to be a little throwaway. Yeah, the love interest is Daniel Stepanek. Weezie and Daniel briefly dated in high school. He's just come back to town. He's now a chef. He was fine. Supposedly really handsome. Not only can he cook, but he's also refurbishing his old family home so he handy.

I just didn't really find their relationship all that compelling. You could have left their entire romance out of this book and it would have saved me about a hundred pages and it would not have changed a whole lot else about the plot.

Nicole: 

No! Okay.

Meghan: 

I just, there was a part in the book where they briefly break up and before they get…

Nicole: 

Like a third act breakup? Yeah. okay. Okay.

Meghan:

Yeah, like one of those, I know.  So before they get back together, my thought was, “they're over now.” And I was already imagining who the next love interest was going to be. Like I was not sad about it. There was nothing about it that made me go, “but they need to get back together.” I truly thought that was just like a vehicle for a couple of these little plot points on the side and now she's going to go find somebody else. No, I mean, so whatever. Yeah.

Nicole: 

Okay.

Meghan: 

This is not a romance novel. It just isn't. Reading the…

Nicole: 

It's murder with a side of...

Meghan:

…yeah, reading the back of the book, it definitely sounded like it was going to be a romance novel. And you know me, I don't really research these before I throw them in my pile.

Nicole:

Yeah.

No, we like to go in fresh,

Meghan: 

Yeah, I'm sure if I had done any reading up on this, I would have figured out pretty quickly that it was not a romance novel. It falls into the category of Chicklet. I'm totally cool with that. I love Chicklet, apparently, because I enjoyed the book. So this is...

Nicole: 

Not clitorature?

Meghan: 

Not clitorature. 

Yeah, I enjoyed it. So I don't want it to sound like I'm slamming the book based on that. I think just because I went into it, knowing that we were going to be talking about it for the podcast, I was like, this, this doesn't really fit. 

Nicole: 

Sure.

Okay.

Meghan: 

What I loved:

The treatment of a gay couple in this book.  Remember this was written back in 2002 and for anybody who's an old biddie like we are, there was still a lot of fear of coming out of the closet and having a public relationship. And a gay marriage wasn't really legal yet. I mean, I think in a few places in the US. 

Nicole: 

Yeah, yeah.

Meghan: 

The fact that that relationship was treated with such respect and it was just two normal folks doing normal folk things, was nice. She did those characters justice. 

All the reselling portions, super relatable.

Nicole: 

Awesome.

Meghan: 

After Weezie gets arrested for theft and murder and gets bailed out, she's at home. And while she's at home, a really loud noise happens in back of her carriage house and she looks out the windows and realizes that there is a scenic Savannah double-decker tour bus now in her alley, because she's now on their famous murder route. And I laughed at that because I live in a house that is on the murders and spooks tour in Door County. So every on-season there is a trolley parked outside my house every single night.

Nicole: 

Oh, in door County. Oh my God. Yeah. yeah, and they're not mistakeable. Like, they're very noticeable trolleys.

Meghan: 

Yes, yeah. And so I giggled because my house is across the road from where a woman got murdered and shoved in a furnace back in the 50s. So the fact that she ended up on this tour bus thing, I was like, okay, she's a reseller and they're stalking her with this tour bus. Okay, it's still me. Yeah.

Nicole: 

You're like, no surprises here.  Also, I really hope you sage your apartment regularly.  Anywho.

Meghan:

Anyway, me and Weezie.  She also talks about certain cleaning products that I think only resellers know about and or use, which I thought was funny.

Weezie's mom at one point in time says, “I bought that dress with my first paycheck from the telephone company.” Again, we're just talking about my family because my parents met at the telephone company. Yeah.

Nicole: 

Oh my god, my mom, my aunts. Yeah, yeah, and all my my mom and all my aunts worked at the telephone company up in Rhinelander, Wisconsin. Oh, yeah, yeah.

Meghan: 

Yep. Yep. My grandma worked at the telephone company. I'm like, again,

And then let's see.

“Saturday, 6am. I struggled out of bed and into my work clothes. Baggy shorts, baggy shirt, sneakers. Swallowed four aspirin and washed them down with a Coke. My head was pounding from all the gin, wine, champagne, and self-pity I'd swallowed the night before.”

Nicole: 

I feel called out.

Meghan: 

I know I've like been there!

Nicole: 

We're seeing a lot of relatable things in this book.

Meghan: 

Uh-huh. Yeah. Yeah. So just in general, I could relate to Weezie. I just could not relate to the relationship she was having with that guy. I was like, meh. 

And on page 217, he helped her unload some furniture and then glanced fervently around before giving her a chaste little kiss. And you know, folks, we always love our chaste little kisses around here at Romance on the Rocks.

Nicole: 

Sure.  Meh.

In case you can't tell, Meghan is being a little sarcastic.

Meghan: 

In one of Nicole's books, it was a Debbie Macomber book, the only romance in that entire thing was wearing black pants and having a chaste little kiss. So anytime I see chaste kisses in my book I have to highlight them. 

Anyway, I thought that the murder and the mystery were very well thought out, and while I would like to have seen a couple of the side characters in this book get more consequences for their actions, I wasn't left dissatisfied with how things wrapped up. So overall, fun enough read, but it definitely was not a romance. And that is that.

Nicole: 

Okay.  So I'm assuming this is green pepper level to milk.

Meghan: 

I would put it between a green pepper and a poblano because things happen. Well, things happen, but they're very closed door. It's a lot of gropiness and things like that. But they do bang. They just bang quietly.

Nicole: 

Really?

Meghan: 

So, you know, yeah. It would, again, I always say it's a book you could give to your mom and you wouldn't be embarrassed about what was in there. Yeah. And that is that.

Nicole: 

Because it's a sweeter time.

Meghan: 

Yeah.

It was very southern.

Nicole: 

Sorry, again, we're making a lot of references to older episodes. And I know, I know our loyal fan following will totally know these references. But for anyone new to the podcast, we were told by my mother at one point that a book by Kathleen Norris was from a sweeter time. And it may have been one of the most not sweet things because she was going for the stepson and…

Meghan: 

Yeah. Yeah. It was uncomfy.

Nicole: 

Yeah.

Meghan: 

Yeah, it was super uncomfy. This book was very, very Southern though. Like to the point where it almost in some places felt a little overwhelming because it felt like walking into somebody's social circle and they just kept dropping names. And it was all these kind of like very, know, Talmadge Evans the third, you know, very, family oriented.

Nicole: 

Okay?

Meghan: 

If you lived in town, you'd know who the family is type of thing. So I had to get over that because there was just, like I said, I felt like I was swimming in Southern for a while there. But yeah, enjoyed it. Just it took a while and not a romance. And on to Nicole.

Nicole: 

Okay.

A Lady's Guide to Mischief and Mayhem by Amanda Collins. Published in 2021. It fits the sub genre of historical romance. And a key trope is enemies to lovers.

For our main characters, have Lady Catherine Bascom, a widow and owner of the London Gazette. She also writes articles for her newspaper, including a column, A Lady's Guide to Mischief and Mayhem. Do we see where the title is coming from now? Then we have Andrew Eversham, a detective inspector for Scotland Yard. This takes place in 1865.

Meghan: 

Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

Nicole: 

There is a serial killer on the loose called the Commandments Killer. And yeah.

Meghan: 

I'm sorry, that sounds like a thing that I would want to read about. That sounds all religiousy and yeah.

Nicole: 

Maybe. Maybe. Maybe not.

Anyway, this killer's on a loose in London Katherine is following the murders because you know, she's got a newspaper as Is her bestie Carol short for I'm pretty sure Caroline if I'm remembering correctly Yeah, Carol Carol Carol Carol, I don't know fuck I don't care whatever

Meghan: 

so we both had a Caroline in our books.

Nicole: 

They decide the police aren't doing the best job at investigating and finding the killer, so they start conducting their own witness interviews. And it just so happens they come across some witnesses that were completely ignored by the investigator. So were they entirely wrong for kind of seeking things out? I don't think so. But also, it causes a little scandal. And then Andrew Eversham, who's been in charge of the investigation, is pulled from the case.

So his replacement then arrests a man that fits a description from a witness that the ladies interviewed and claims it's the serial killer, but dot dot dot spoilers, it's not. Lady Catherine goes to visit her other bestie, Lord Valentine something or other at his country estate and the murderer seems to follow.

Catherine and Andrew end up working together to solve the case and that, my friend, is the plot and where I'm gonna leave it.

Meghan: 

Interesting.

Nicole: 

So as you know, Meghan, I normally highlight the things I loved as well as the challenges I have in a romance book. I love to give, pluses and minuses or constructive whatever. This book didn't suck, but it didn't draw me in either. I found the writing to be stilted, if you will.

And I personally was wanting more in-depth descriptions of clothing and environments because that's one of the things I enjoy about historical romance novels, because I'm all here for a historical romance novel. But this was very lacking in those areas. I saw the plot reveal coming a mile away, even with the slight twist. 

Meghan: 

Hmm, interesting.

I hate that.

Nicole: 

You would have figured it out. I know you especially would have figured it out like instantly and been like, what the?

Meghan: 

I hate that.

Nicole: 

Yeah, so that was kind of lackluster as well if i'm being completely honest.  All that being said, I will say if you like a tame not overly cerebral murder mystery/historical romance novel that is not overly spicy This would be a lovely option for a reader And that's all I have to say about that

Nicole: 

In terms of spice level for this book

I know you've kind of been like reevaluating where things fall. This was open door, but it was, skin-ty, if you will, on the open-doorness.   So, very least Poblano, I guess, rolling into jalapeno, but...

Meghan: 

I feel like yours could probably be a full-on poblano, whereas mine is poblano minus or green pepper plus.

Nicole: 

Yeah, I mean they had sex. I guess that's something. I'll decide on that later when I do my book review. I did enjoy one quotable, if you will. “She was unable to say more, but needed to let him know she was not a fragile flower.”

Meghan: 

Yeah. Yeah.

Nicole: 

I liked it. I was like, yeah, sometimes we're not fragile flowers. Scents.  This year we're doing scents.

Meghan: 

Yeah, yeah. And I actually remembered to write one down. I know, proud of myself.

Nicole: 

I love that. So for Catherine, Andrew associated Catherine with something “clean and floral, jasmine and lilac.” And for Andrew, Catherine associated him with “clean sandalwood, sandalwood and pine cologne.” So those are my scents.

Meghan: 

I'm sure that my Weezie and Daniel talked about each other's smelliness. I didn't care enough to write it down, but what I did write down...

Nicole:

Smelliness.

Meghan: 

You know, their general stank. 

Yeah. Putrescence. 

So what I did write down, because this, again, this spoke to me. “I draped the quilts around my shoulders and buried my nose in the folds of the cloud-like cotton. Even after all these years, the quilt still smelled of my meemaw, of lavender and ivory soap flakes.”

Nicole: 

Aww, we love a Meemaw vibe.

Meghan: 

Yeah, so I thought that was very sweet because there is a very specific scent that I can remember from the linen closet at my grandmother's house. And every once in a while, I walk into a house or I pick up linens somewhere that have that smell. And it's a very memory triggering type of thing. And so the fact that she could still smell her grandma on that quilt, I'm like, I get it girl. I'm right there.

Nicole:

Yeah.

Yeah.

I love that. I love it.

So we can never achieve a greatness like we have before with you hitting page one for boobies. However, where did the boobies land if at all in your book this time around?

Meghan: 

Mm-hmm.

We're going to have to discuss this one.

Nicole: 

Okay. Tell me more.

Meghan: 

Because we have a new reference that I don't think that we have had. And I'm not sure if we should count it or not.

Nicole: 

Okay, you tell me more.

Meghan: 

If we do count it, then I have page two.

Nicole: 

Huh?

Meghan: 

Mm-hmm. Yeah.

“She wore lime green linen capri slacks and a matching linen scoop neck blouse that showed only a tasteful hint of décolletage.”

Nicole: 

That counts because the décolletage is the boobs. Yeah.

Meghan: 

So that was my question, is that a reference we have not had yet?

Nicole: 

Which is shocking because I say décollete all the time.

Meghan: 

Is that how it's pronounced? I've always assumed it was décolletage. Now I have to look it up. What a strange word.

Nicole: 

Well, no, there's it's two different words, decollete and decolletage. There's it's two words. Yeah, yeah, yeah. yeah. But I say it. I say decollete all the time and I am shocked and disappointed that more people don't use it.

Meghan: 

I didn't know that. See, I'm learning.

Yeah, well, it's here on page two. Otherwise, we were waiting until page 82, which seemed a lot more appropriate for this book, which was, “My mother had forced fed me frilly Punch and Judy dresses until I was 12 years old and sprouted breasts.”

Nicole: 

Okay.  Okay.

Meghan: 

So 2 or 82, that's what I got. I was gonna say, neither one of those were sexual in nature.

Nicole: 

You know what's funny, Meghan?

Right, right. But we've had non sexually reference. 

Meghan: 

Yeah, tons, tons.

Nicole:

Yeah, tons. But what's interesting is I was also questioning my first bosom reference, literally. My first reference is page 108. “The magnates daughter's eyes widened, and she clasped a hand dramatically to her bosom.” And I was like, well, we haven't really done bosom before.

Meghan:

Yeah, no, that counts for sure.

Nicole: 

It counted but that was page 108 but then I'm like if we need a clear cut breast reference it didn't happen until page 197 when there was, “The corset was laced in front and he pulled the string of the knot settled just between her breasts loosening the tight clasp of the garment.”

Meghan: 

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

So we both went and looked for a second reference because we weren't sure. That's nuts.

Nicole: 

Mm-hmm.  Wwhich is hilarious because normally we can't even remember to keep track of the boobs.

Meghan: 

Yeah, yeah.

You know what, these books were very unusual for both of us, right? Like, this was not a romance novel, yours was just not the kind of book you typically read. And so for both of us, maybe it was actually easier to find these things because we weren't like, super into the book in the same way that we normally would be.

Nicole: 

Yeah. Yeah. Maybe. Yeah.

Well, it's time to draw numbers for our next book of April, and it's our last pick a number!

Meghan: 

It is, my numbers have been moved from their beautiful glass into this.

Nicole: 

See you…

Meghan: 

Yeah, a little plastic bag. A bag. A bag. Got it in this.

Nicole: 

A bag.

I get so much shit for the way I pronounce bags and tags down here. I'm baaagle. I'm a baaagle.

Meghan:

Bagel. That's another one I get for baygel. Behguhl.

BAGEL. 

Nicole: 

For sure.

Okay, what do we got Meghan?

Meghan: 

Alright, I've got number one.  The Pretend Wife by Bridget Asher.

Oh, this is a traveling book, Nicole. Look.

Nicole: 

Yes! this is gonna make things so much more fun! Yes!

Meghan: 

Ah, this is a traveling book. Okay.

Nicole and I have talked about doing traveling books this year. I get tons of my books secondhand. Heaven knows where I picked this up, but this book belongs to Kathy, who passed it on to Debbie and Lorraine.

Okay. “For Gwen Merchant, love has always been doled out in little packets.  From her father, a marine biologist consumed with work after her mother's death, and from her husband, Peter, who's always been respectful and safe. But when an old college boyfriend, the irresistible Elliot Hull, invites himself back into Gwen's life, she starts to remember a time when love was an ocean. What does Elliot want? In fact, he has a rather surprising proposition. He wants Gwen

to become his wife, his pretend wife, just for a few days, to accompany him to his family's lake house for the weekend so that he can fulfill his dying mother's last wish. Reluctantly, agrees to play along with her husband, Peter's full support. It's just one weekend, what harm could come of it? But Gwen is drawn to Elliot's quirky, wonderful family.

His astonishingly wise and open mother, his warm and welcoming sister, and his adorable, precocious niece. And she starts questioning everything she's expected from love. And as she begins to uncover a few secrets about her own family, it suddenly looks like a pretend relationship just might turn out to be the most real thing she's ever known.”

Nicole: 

Oooo

Meghan: 

Yeah.

Nicole: 

Intrigued. Yasss, I'm intrigued.

Meghan: 

Right? Alright, pretend wife!

Nicole: 

Okay. All right.

Meghan: 

Pick a number, pick a number, pick a number, pick a number.

Nicole: 

All right, I have 13.

Okay. We have a fate of Onyx and Ivory by-

Meghan: 

I almost bought that!

That's in my cart on Amazon! Okay, okay, sorry.

Nicole: 

By, and I'm so sorry if I pronounced this incorrectly. Janae Brown.

Meghan: 

I'm not sure. I just know that that's sitting in my cart.

Nicole: 

Ms. Brown. Ms. Brown. “When 24-year-old Amira must provide for her family, she finds herself making a bargain with a clever witch that could possibly alter her life forever. In her pursuit to return home, she crosses paths with a savior, a powerful fairy, that transports her to an alternate realm she never knew existed.

In a quest entwined with dark magic and immortality, Amira begins to question everything she has ever known. She'll need to remain the fighter she's always been while piecing together the truths that are hidden in the shadows of Solaris if she wants to survive. With each day that passes, she finds herself more attached to her new surroundings, including the white-winged fey that unexpectedly entered her life.

Will she become a permanent part of his lavish world or return to a life of poverty in the mortal realm to reunite with her family? Amira's decision won't be easy deciphering between lust and fate.”

I love this cover art.

Meghan: 

Yes, I agree. I think that's in my cart because way back when we first did our very first Fae smut month, that was one of my options.

Nicole: 

Yeah. And I am proud to say I have the author's signature because this is one we scored in Milwaukee this past fall.

Meghan: 

Very nice.

Nicole: 

I also just have to quick give a shout out to all the amazing authors that I recently met on the LoveLit cruise that I randomly ended up in representation of the podcast. I tried to do my best, Meghan. I tried to give out all the bookmarks that I had left and all the business cards.

But it's a little intimidating when you first roll into a cruise and you don't know anybody. And I've never been on a cruise by myself. So that was like a whole new thing. But I really, really hope that you come with me next year because everyone was so welcoming. And it just reiterated for me the thing that you and I have realized in the romance community that people are so welcoming, so nice in general. mean, yeah, you'll get your outliers here and there. But for the most part,

Meghan: 

Mm-hmm.

Nicole: 

People were taking me under their wing and I was hugging authors by the end of the adventure and I met so many really cool people, both readers and authors. Ronnie was super cool. She had this wild pink hair and I adore her and I can't remember her socials right now, but she was really cool. And then I met Nicolette and Thora and JD Harbor.

He was like the one male author on the cruise and he writes all cruise romances. So that was really fun and interesting. And we did family feud stuff with the authors and listened to various, seminars, talks with the authors. And we had all these fun theme nights like magic and mischief night and scarlet night. And we also did a mafia wives type of night. It was just a lot of fun. And I think you would have really especially loved the one night we were in the Korean restaurant on the cruise ship. We had to do shots, Meghan. And not just once. but multiple times over dinner. Yeah. Yeah. And then I ran into the craziest problem. We all know I like to imbibe. This is, this is not news. I bought myself a little bar tab is what they call it on Virgin Voyages, which hosted the LoveLit cruise.

Meghan: 

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yep, yep, yep.

Nicole: 

And Virgin Voyages does things a little different for a cruise line where you pre-purchase your bar tab and then you get an extra credit. Well, I didn't realize that also on LoveLit Cruise we got a bar tab credit and it was not a small bar tab credit. So I ended up having to spend $650 of a bar tab credit in five days, which I was like, I got this. I am a queen. I will make this happen.

No, Meghan, I was struggling and I wasn't the only one. Several of us solo cruisers by the last night were like, we're buying buckets of champagne. That's what we gotta do.

Meghan: 

Yeah, I remember you reaching out and telling me that you were having this issue and I lamented that I couldn't be there to at least help you for one night.

Nicole: 

Right. Or the whole time, yeah.

It was hilarious though. So there's this thing on the Virgin Voyages app where you literally shake your phone with the app open and it's called Shaking for Champagne and they will bring you a bottle of champagne anywhere on the boat. So it was the last day of the cruise. We were doing a desserts final gathering for the Lovelette cruisers and anyway I got my bottle of champagne and I shared it generously with my fellow cruisers and I had a blast.

Meghan: 

Mm-hmm.

Well, I'm glad you had a good time. That was like a last-minute thing. You had not planned on it, but at the final seconds, ticket became available and you just swooped in. that was fantastic. You know, probably good that it happened like that because it didn't give you too long to build up any sort of anxiety of being like, I don't know anybody or whatever. You just kind of were thrown in.

Nicole: 

Yeah. Yeah.

I still had anxiety.

Meghan: 

Right, but I'm saying it didn't have a chance to super build, because it was like throw shit in a suitcase and just go. Like, yeah.

Nicole:

Right.  Yeah, I will say though, so there was an initial gathering of mumus and margaritas…

Meghan: 

That sounds fun!

Nicole:

…the first night on the ship and this first night, I will say the Lovelit crew staff, they clearly saw that I was on the struggle bus with my anxiety and my nervousness. And I'm one of those extrovert, introvert mixed people where sometimes in an I'm an extrovert but sometimes I'm definitely not and I never know what I'm gonna be that day I was feeling very introvert that day and The LoveLit crew just came up to me and they were like, are you by yourself? And I was like, yep. And they were like, you know what, here's some other solo cruisers. Let's get you mingling. Here's some of the authors. I just so appreciated that they did that and made me feel significantly less anxiety ridden from the get go. And everybody, like I said, was so welcoming and inviting. And I have to say, Meghan, you know how OCD and high I personality I am. This may be the most organized event I have ever participated in my life.

Meghan: 

Coming from you, that is high praise.

Nicole: 

Yeah, yeah. There were daily calendars that were put into a Discord group and there was a whole Discord group for this. And there was a whole Canva manual that Erin, who manages LoveLit Cruise, put together beforehand with what you need on the cruise and all these ins and outs. then Erin's dear, sweet husband throughout the day would be like, here's your 30- minute warning for the next event or 20 minutes to go for this for anybody who not be cognizant of time or completely focused. I know I know you're like, yes. Yeah.

Meghan: 

I'm time blind. I'm…I am so time blind. I would need that.

Nicole: 

Yeah, well, and I don't even expect that I did not even have that expectation. But there Erin's husband was constantly all day long, Hey, guys, remember to hydrate. And in 20 minutes, we're doing this. I cannot get over how impressed I was with the whole thing. So yeah, shout out to LoveLit Cruise and Erin and her hubby.  And all the amazing authors and cruisers. It was so much fun. I can't say enough about it. So, yeah.

Meghan: 

Yay.

Well, on that note, shall we, shall we get out of here? 

All right. Well, thank you for joining us today for Romance on the Rocks. Please like, subscribe. And if you are a hopelessly romantic bookish bitty like us, think about giving us a review on all of the things because we are on all of the things. Wherever you catch your podcasts.

Nicole: 

Yeah. Yes. All of the things.

Meghan: 

And until next time, just know that your support really means the world to us. Stay safe and know that you are loved.